I'm going to go ahead and say it. I miss my dad. He was kind of an asshole, and he was horribly abusive.... but I miss him. He did the best he could with what he had and it's not really even his fault that he was mentally ill, was it? Sure, he made bad choices and stuff... but doesn't everyone make bad choices? I made a bad choice by eating two bowls of ice cream today.
okay, bad example. but still! he was my father. he gave me monetary support and he picked me up from school and showed me a few things. yes, he was a jerk that tried to kill me. yes, he emotionally and verbally abused my mother and I, and yes he tried to buy our love... but I can throw that all away. he was my dad. he wasn't very good at it, but he was my dad. my father-figure. and I'm sorry if you don't like it or don't approve of me calling him that. But I want you to know that that's what he is to me. he took care of me and fed and clothed me. he didn't have to take me in after mommy died, but he did. I didn't even get to thank him for the money he sent me for Christmas.... I feel terrible. I haven't talked to him in months and now I'll never get to talk to him again. I still don't know where Dick and Jan are. I hope Lynn has gotten a hold of them and they just forgot to tell me, or something. I really, really hope so. I don't want my dad rotting away in a morgue somewhere just because his brother decided now would be a good time to go on vacation. but it's not like they knew that this was about to happen.
I loved my dad, I hated my dad, and I felt indifferent towards him. But I've come to realize that I love him. and that I just lost another parent.... it sucks majorly and I might be in a funk for a while. I'm just saying.
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